The results are less exciting when Maury Povich isn't the one dispensing the news, but we bet Keanu Reeves doesn't mind.
A DNA test proved that Keanu was not the father of any of a dumb Canadian woman's kids. Karen Sala claimed that Keanu sperminated her for at least of her four grown-up children, but Keanu protested that he never even met the woman, much less get busy with her business.
It's a good thing that he isn't the father - she was looking for a HUGE payout for some very late child and spousal support -$150,000 a month in child support, backdated to 1988, and $3 million a month in spousal support.
You do the math on that one.
Congrats Keanu! You are NOT the father!
[Image via WENN.]"